Thank you all for your wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement.  After I typed that post Dana and I talked about the whole thing for quite some time.  I just rambled on and on and then it hit me.  I knew exactly what the problem was.

The problem wasn’t that I was tired of being an NP….or that I had been too discouraged by the negative interactions that I had experienced.  The problem wasn’t just the malpractice thing and it wasn’t the schedule.   Afterall, I was going to work all day on Tuesdays and Anna Grace goes to school Tuesday morning, I see her at lunch and then she naps all afternoon.   So, it isn’t like I was missing time with her.

Nope, the problem was that I would likely not be mentally "at home" when I returned home.  Why?  Because of the way the office is managed.

While it is normal for parents to speak with their child’s doctor or NP on the phone, it is also quite normal that the office nurse answers your questions.  This did not occur at this office.  The staff wasn’t trained or did not have the experience to handle the phones and to answer parent’s questions without getting the mom’s hacked off.  So, I’d be scheduled to see 40 patients for that one Tuesday a week (which is quite a lot) but I would likely have to spend 1/3 of that day on the phone. (And about half of that time would be spent with mom’s yelling at me or telling me all about their wonderful attorneys.)

That’s not how a doctor’s office should be run.  So what did I do?

Did I turn down the job?

Yep!

I called the day after the post and turned it down. I told my former employer that I appreciated his offer and I think so much of him but that I could not accept at this time.  He then upped the salary offer and did his best but I stuck to my guns.  I knew that while I adore his friendship and such… the man can not manage his office.  Never has . Never will.  And this could result in nothing good.

But what about retirement?  Did I decide to retire?

Nope.

I decided to wait until we are more settled and things are less chaotic.  But that’s not all.

I remembered the job experiences I loved…. like working with migrant families in northwest Orange county…. or providing healthcare for kids at the Coalition for the Homeless.  Those jobs were handled via a well managed office.  There was staff that knew how to handle phones and walk ins…. and kids that I adored.

And so I decided that I wasn’t ready to retire.  I just wanted to return to work for a well managed office and that I would see if I could find an opening working with the migrant farm workers again.  My spanish has gotten quite rusty since those "good ol’ days" but I’m sure I can pick it up again.

So for now… I’m not returning to healthcare.  But I will.  And if their isn’t a job available for me at that time, well then that is just how it is.  And I will have no regrets.  No matter what, I will always know that I made the right decisions regarding my career because they were the right decisions for Anna Grace.

And that’s that!