Trash must be taken to the street on Monday nights. The entire town of Oakland is on the same trash cycle. So, if you were going to stalk someone and repeatedly use helping with her trash as a tactic, you would have no difficulty determining what days your services may be needed.
A few days back The Toddler managed to open the door to the deep freeze. I saw her do this and, unfortunately, I assumed it just shut when she let go. Wrong. The next day I noticed that the door was still slightly opened and things were defrosting. So my trash can is a bit heavy with all the stuff I had to clear out of the freezer.
Tonight I hoisted this can onto my make-shift cart, wheeled it to the end of the drive and I was struggling a bit to get it off of the wagon/cart thing. All of a sudden it got very light. Stalker #2 had walked up behind me and grabbed a hold of it. I didn’t even hear him and didn’t realize what was happening. All of a sudden he said "here" and I’m not sure what I hit, where I hit but I just reacted and took a swing (it was more of a "fight or flight" kinda reaction). I think I clocked him on the chin but not hard enough to get rid of him or knock him down. Scared the daylights out of me. And, in all of my grace and coordination, I fell right on my butt! Stalker #2 helped me up, apologized for scaring me and then said something to the effect of "lets get you inside and make sure you’re not hurt". I said I was fine and thanked him for helping with the trash. About that time I heard the phone ringing and used it as an excuse to run in the house, I drug my little cart thing right into the living room.
I did my best while trotting in the house to appear completely uninjured but I’m going to have quite a bruise on one hip, my right palm is a bit scraped up and my tail bone is giving me a zinger every time I sit down.
Apparently Stalker #2 did not get the message the other day in the post office. I thought informing his wife of his actions would clearly indicate that I’m not interested. One thing is for sure, I need to hire my friend’s son to take out the trash for me from now on and I can no longer go outside in the evening for any reason what so ever.
Kris! don’t let this philandering wanker get to you…tell him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS you do NOT need his help and if he comes over again, you will go straight to his wife…and let Dana pay him a lil visit too!!
Stop with talking to his wife. You need to go to the police and file a report. You have already spoken with him and his wife and made it clear that you want this to stop. He will not stop until there are legal consequences. It is harsh but you have to protect yourself and AG.
Straight up. I’ve been stalked too. To his face in no uncertain terms… seek him out, catch him off guard, public places are just fine… and you are mad, you are scared. Use it. No harm done if the guy gets the distinct impression that you are ‘unstable’, ‘irratidic’ and generally all around not the ‘sweet person’ who he thought you were. This is war. Cussing is good too… and right up in front of his wife… that works too. Go pound on the guys front door and have a keniption fit right there on his porch with the whole family present. All you’ve done thus far, as I see it is politely and politically decline his help and even thanked him via his wife for his helpful disposition. Thus, he isn’t necessarily doing anything wrong by continuing in his current thread. Once you tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and you want him to stop then he’s officially a stalker, then you can file on him. But if you’re psychotic enough in approaching him, he will go away… that’s my take.
Three words: Call. The. Police. You have let him know that you don’t want him around, and yet he keeps coming back. Maybe if he gets a visit from an officer in blue, he’ll get the message. You were injured from his latest attempt. That is unscceptable. You should not have to hire someone to take out your garbage or be afraid to go into your own yard at night. Please call the police!
First off, I was cheering that you hit him and then didn’t apologize. Second, I’m sorry that he’s not getting the message. There has to be something you can do rather than lock yourself in your house!
DH and I have a similar problem, with nosy neighbors who harass us whenever we’re outside more than 3 minutes. We can’t do anything without them coming over and demanding to know what we’re doing NOW? They come outside to see whenever we have company, and like to complain to anyone who helps us with our lawn work. I want my yard back! So I wrote them a letter insisting that they stay off of our property and stop attempting to speak to us about anything pertaining to said property.
I’m not suggesting that you write a letter. But maybe you can talk to the wife? A simple conversation about how you’re sure her husband is trying to help, but that you’re not comfortable with his attentions and would prefer that he stay far, far away. Laugh about how clueless men are and how you’ve tried to get this across to him, but he doesn’t take a hint.
Hoping all goes well!
Back to add — If I’m wrong, ignore the above, but it seemed like you’ve only tried hinting with these people. Some people don’t take hints. At all. If you’ve made it perfectly clear, however, that you don’t want him anywhere near you, in no uncertain terms, not in a polite suggestion, then yes, do call the police and forget what I said above.