Anna Grace has been keeping busy by chasing the ducks and turning her mother’s hair gray.    Our life at Casa de Cheapo continues to be interesting at best.  Let’s review recent evidence that we can’t stay here delightful events….

Anna Grace Decides to Terrorize Ducks

Last week we walked around the little duck pond and had the very real sense that we were being watched (probably by the Duck Police).  Anyway,  Anna Grace gets quite a kick out of the ducks and I do as well.  They are pretty cool.

Anna Grace walks behind ducks loudly yelling QUACK!

2 of our fine, feathered friends.  These 2 always stay together and occasionally allow a male mallard to hang out with them.

Anna Grace standing by the pond announcing "Those are Anna Grace’s ducks" while the person behind the cameral yells  shhhhhh!!!!   I don’t need her to get reported for that one!

The other three ducks who never intermingle with the previous 2 ducks.   Duck snobbery… who knew?

Anna Grace getting irritated with her mother.  Seems her mother won’t let her in the duck pond with "her ducks".

Anna Grace deciding to ignore her mother and head toward the duck pond anyway.

Rinse and repeat.

During this entire event I am living in complete terror that she’s going to get reported for something.  So far, so good.

Dana Drives at Breakneck Speed

Last week Dana was stopped for speeding.  Why is this funny?  Because I am the lead foot of the family.  How fast was he going?

10 miles per hour.

He was stopped by a little man driving a golf cart through our little "homestead" and informing him that he was driving way over the posted 5 mph speed limit.

That’s Dana.  Speed Demon!

Anna Grace is All Done with Mommy

Last week I went to the grocery store and then picked up AG at school.  We unloaded most of the groceries and then I made us lunch.  While Anna Grace finished her lunch I decided to walk out to the car and get the remainder of the groceries. I come back and I can’t get the door open.  I try and try, but no luck.

I am outside with no keys, no money and no cell phone.

I walk to the back of the house and look through the window.  My daughter has gotten up from the table and is now standing right in front of the t.v. (which she isn’t  allowed to do).  In addition, I can see the front door at it is locked.  And it doesn’t just lock on its own.

My daughter… my precious little daughter…. has locked me out of the house.

I tried to talk her through unlocking the door but no luck.  I went to the front office to see if they would call Dana, they refused.  I found some loose change in the car and tried the local pay phone.  It ate all the money.  I tried the neighbor, they didn’t answer.  One man saw me walking around the back of our place and confronted me like I may be a criminal. I explained my problem and asked if he would call my husband.  He refused.

Then I remembered something from my past…  the beloved collect call.

I head back to the payphone and call Dana collect.

I call Dana not once, not twice but three times.  And he doesn’t answer.  He said he didn’t recognize the phone number so, he didn’t pick up. 

When I made my 4th attempt Dana finally picked up but he couldn’t hear me, just the operator.  An operator who is not identifying himself and telling Dana that Kris is calling collect and he needs his credit card number.  Dana was this close to not doing it because he thought the whole thing didn’t make sense and might be a scam but he was also afraid to not give them the number.

Thankfully, he did give them his credit card number and I was able to tell him to come home and rescue me.  He comes home, we open the door only to find Anna Grace sitting at the dinner table right where I had left her.  Sitting there as if she had been there all along, never moved and never letting on that she may have locked her mother out of the house.  Maybe.

Kris Returns to her Natural Blonde State

So after all this I’ve been looking a little less than wonderful and I headed out to get my hair returned to the color God intended it to be…. bottle blonde.

And now all is well with the world.