How to Have a Very Bad Day

Things have not gone as planned today. They took a turn towards the ugly very early this morning. Let’s recap some of the highlights, shall we?

1. My husband left town today for a week. I knew this was coming. I did not realize ( until recently) that Anna Grace would also be out of school and that the BFF’s would be out of town (along with Anna Grace’s usual troop of playmates) at the same time. What’s the deal? Did I forget my deodorant or something?????

2. Anna Grace woke up early this morning. Then she headed off for the bathroom. I then needed the following items to get her out of the bathroom.


One dissassembled doorknob

That’s right, folks. My daughter locked herself in the bathroom at 7:30 this morning. I had to first WAKE UP, then try to figure out what was going on, locate a screw driver and rescue her. All before I had even had a diet coke.

This event was an omen. We should have just gone back to bed!

3. Decided over the weekend that I would drag Anna Grace from one theme park to the other throughout this week. This would be my plan for counteracting the 712, 453 times she was going to ask me about when she could go to school and the 654, 786 times she was going to say “Where’s Daddy?”.

Today’s adventure: Animal Kingdom. Number of people who had the same idea as we did?

657, 855

4. After much riggamaroll, I get Anna Grace in the car, drop packages at the post office, fill up with gas and get on the road. We arrive. We walk ten feet, maybe fifteen, and Anna Grace falls down.


One matching set of skinned knees.

Ignore the cookie dust on her mouth.

So our first stop was the first aid station to get a matching set of band aids. Anna Grace then contracted that most horrible of all preschool diseases: Drama Queen-itis. The affects of this ailment are still being felt as I write this several hours after “the incident”.

5. The point of our little adventure was to see a tiger and a gorilla. And we did. That would be our first positive experience of the day (for those of you who are keeping track).


Tiger going for a swim (who knew?)


Sleeping Tiger


Lazy Tiger


Back of a gorilla.

6. While visiting the gorillas the little educator person was saying how folks needed to stay behind the rope… the gorillas can see and hear you… be very quiet….blah blah blah. I turned to get the stroller out of the way. I turn back in time to see that Anna Grace has gone under the rope, is standing right by this gorilla and before I can grab her she knocks on the glass and yells “Hi Gorilla.”

The gorilla wasn’t pleased.

7. I enjoyed seeing the meerkat. I know this is going to ruin my bad, snarky reputation but… here it goes…. I’m addicted to Meerkat Manor. I am so ashamed to admit that I actually watch a show that is on Animal Planet but its true. I have a Meerkat Manor problem. And so… I enjoyed watching this little guy.


Meerkat… with antelope in the background.

For those of you keeping count… this would be positive thing #2.

8. Somebody was full of complaints. Their knees hurt, they were hungry or hot or thirsty. (They needed to get a happy heart!!!!). And they fell again. Drama Queen-itis intensified.

9. Since eating something nutritious was not on the to-do list for the day I allowed my child to fill herself to the brim with popcorn. I’m sure I’ll lose my “mommy” button for that one. But it did seem to silence her many “wants” and complaints.

10. Things seemed to be settling down and we were finally starting to relax. I had just kinda said to myself something along the lines of…. I wish these Disney folks could sprinkle some pixie dust and make the rest of this day go smoothly. And immediately, if almost on cue, my child threw up all over herself and the kid next to her. And so we went home.

Stupid pixie dust!!!!!

29 responses

  1. oh geez. I am sorry but i had to giggle at the last one. I thought that kind of thing (mentioning a desire for something to go nice then have it just go to hell completely) only happened to me. good luck! Sounds like naptime/knitting would do you and her some good, but we all know that isn’t the easiest thing to achieve on cue either.

  2. I’m so glad my child is 33! And, I don’t have to take him to the zoo or animal kingdom. He just calls, still wanting money (and calls only when he wants money)!!

    Tomorrow will be better.

  3. I shouldn’t laugh. It would not be nice.
    I did.
    That doorknob and screwdriver started it.
    I’m really, really sorry.
    But I can’t stop laughing.

  4. I couldn’t help but laugh at the last one. I’m so sorry it turned out to be one of those Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days. I hope the rest of the week goes better :-)

  5. I’ve had days like that. It’s days like that I begin to ask, why isn’t it happy hour yet? :-) Tomorrow is another day, and I’m sure you’ll have more good moments than bad when all’s said and done.

  6. The one good thing about our bad days is that they do make very entertaining blog material! And FWIW, I’m impressed with your positive attitude and determination to press on. (My preferred method for surviving these days is to plop them in front of the TV and hide.) 😉

  7. I’m sorry too..
    I had to laugh as well..
    I feel bad laughing…
    but I can’t stop…
    Hope tomorrow is better.. go straight for the diet coke the second you get out of bed :)

  8. Dude! The best part is, this day is done and it will never happen again…not at this level.

    I, too, and guilty of the Meerkat Manor thing. Luckily for me, I never know when it comes on so I’m not glued to the television looking for it.

    Despite the horrible day you’ve had, you have some awesome pictures to show for it, and a great blog post!

  9. Oh boy, what a day! At least it’s over with.

    My Drama Queen is almost 19. There are still drama days, but she’s at college now and I’m not as exposed to them as in the past. I remember the bandaid days, at times they were hell, all that whining. Hang in there, tomorrow will be better.

  10. OHHH MYY, I realized I should stop bitchin’ about my Monday when I read your post. This can only mean your week will get better I’m sure. There’s no shame in loving Meerkat Manor is there????

    BTW I just finished reading your newsletter, and have to tell you I loved your quote…””My pain tolerance is no longer “mind over matter”. It is now “if I can
    knit, it doesn’t matter”.””.. best ever.

    From your friend in the north, wishing for a better week.

  11. Sorry you had such a crappy day but I confess I was crying with laughter by the last entry…altho honestly I predicted with all that fiber (popcorn) she was gonna have horrible diarrhea, predictably in the car on the way home with not a bathroom in sight! So look at her getting rid of it the way she did as a good thing? :)

  12. Oh Kris….too funny! I laughed…I’m sorry, but it just reminded me of the time I hauled all 4 kids to Splendid China (by myself)…what a disaster!!!
    Might I suggest that going anywhere in Orlando during spring break might not be a good idea? Stay home, pop in a video, drink a diet coke and call it a day. Don’t worry, being a horrible parent won’t kill her, or you!! Survival is the name of the game when the hubby is out of town!!

  13. Popcorn throw up is the worst! Cam once locked me out of the house in London…very tricky door. I had to run down the block and around the corner to get the extra key from the estate agent. You hang in there!!

  14. Oh my, Oh my, Oh my! What a day you had. The thing is my 8 year old son still gets that awful disease of “Drama King-itis”. I’d like to know when they stop getting it!

    Hope that today is much better!

  15. You poor mama!

    One of the best lessons my mother taught me when the girls were small: sometimes we just eat dessert (or junk) for a meal. It won’t kill them, in fact, they just may remember fondly the time they were served hot fudge sundaes at lunch for no reason whatsoever…with no veggies in sight!

  16. Man, you had a horrible day. too bad disney doesnt have tents where you can take kids that are upset and let them talk it out with Mickey and then be on your way again.

    Hope the rest of the week goes better!


  17. I hope you ended the day with either a big glass of wine (after Anna Grace was tucked safely into bed, of course) or a large pot of tea, depending on what tickles your fancy. I think you will need some serious “tickling of the fancy” once this week is over! Hang in there.

  18. I am so sorry, but I laughed myself into pain, especially the part about Hi Gorilla. I do hope the rest of the week goes smoothly–perhaps a camel ride?

  19. Oh Kris – please forgive me for laughing. I supposed it won’t help to say that someday you will laugh too? Anyway, I’m in Orlando now and if you want a break and maybe a playdate with Izzy and some grown-up company, let me know. We don’t have any real firms plans except maybe Animal Kingdom on Friday, but after your post I’m rethinking that!

  20. My hubby’s gone a week, too. The whole description is completely understandable, but I worry for you. If you feed her on popcorn on MONDAY, how was the rest of the week?

  21. Ha! It’s days like that that put you to your limit as a mother…of course, (now with preteen and midteen) I have to admit some of those early year days I’d give a jerk and say, ‘stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about’ 😮 …but they grew up just fine and those days I would just chalk it up to the God just has a sense of humor! (and it would ALWAYS happen when hubby was gone…of course, with the military NAVY life that was very often and for six months at a time (imagine the things to go wrong in that timeframe!) BUT then there are GRITS to take the pain away! 😉 I’m fixin’ to get my orginal GA grits out of my cabinet this week and make me a bowl of ’em! …and eat them infront of an awesome mountain view ;}
    Tomorrow is always better- actually print your blog entry and put it in the baby book and bring it out when she is 16! You both will enjoy it! :) Take care!

  22. Bad days make for the best stories, don’t they? (And that was indeed both a bad day and a good story!) Hope the rest of your week went better than the beginning! Branden tells me that he didn’t see Dana today, so hopefully that means he’s home again (though I think he might owe you something very nice for being a lone parent during spring break…). My yarn came today, and certainly made my Monday a much better day. =)Thanks!

  23. We’re having times like that too. But the doorknob? You’re a knitter…See that little hole in the middle of the doorknob? Stick a skinny DPN straight in and it will go into a little divet. GIve a push and a wiggle and it should unlock the door :)

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